How to Choose Yourself This Thanksgiving
The start of the holiday season is here. Thanksgiving eve.
A holiday that revolves around foods and traditions. And traditions rarely change.
But you have changed.
Surgery changed the way you eat or digest food, chemotherapy and radiation therapy changed your taste, bowel habits, and desire to eat.
You are tired. You don’t want to explain your food choices or why you aren’t eating.
Choose Yourself
You have options. Some of your choices will not make the people around you happy, but YOU are not the key to their happiness.
It’s OK to NOT go.
Will you feel pressured to be your normal self, even if you are utterly exhausted and don’t even remember what normal feels like?
Will you get 1,000+ questions from your friends and family who are just trying to make small talk, because they don’t have anything else to say?
Will you have to explain why you aren’t following the latest cancer fad diet or why you aren’t eating any of the meal?
It is OK to choose yourself and not go.
It’s OK to set boundaries.
You want to be part of the celebration, but you tire easily right now. It’s OK to tell your friends and family you plan to leave early or arrive late, depending on how you feel. It’s OK to skip the meal and join everyone for the relaxation time/game time after the meal.
Come prepared with short statements to common questions you don’t need to or want to answer. Let’s say your cousin’s wife corners you and wants to tell you about how her friend’s brother beat cancer by drinking lemon and celery juice. You could say something like, “I appreciate your concern, and I’m not interested.”
Also, don’t be afraid to cut people off, to be rude, and excuse yourself. Unsolicited advice is just as rude.
It’s OK to set expectations.
If you struggle to eat and don’t want to deal with the comments, consider skipping that part of the day.
If you want to be a part of the meal, but can only handle select foods/spices/flavors right now, let the host or hostess know you will bring your own food. Come prepared with responses to the comments you are bound to get.
It is OK to nourish your body with what works for you. That includes both physical nourishment from food and mental nourishment found in joy, peace, and acceptance.
Hi, I’m Amber!
I am a registered dietitian and cancer nutrition specialist. I’m so glad you’re here!